Photographer without a camera

January 6, 2020
A small church of grey brick behind birches, just north of Stockholm, with a faint sunlight on its facade. A house partly covered in plastic for renovation, on a barren hill with some patches of snow in a bloody lovely light. A school's playground in the woods. A forever closed roadside Thai take away. An icy meadow with a mountain slope in the background that has a strange gap in it. Boats covered for winter in a small harbour. A reddish sea of dead ferns, like waves. Wetlands in the last of daylight.

It pains me to remember these mental frames, to never see them come to life. And I wonder, how will I remember this time, this place, these landscapes, if not by them. I felt more confident about these unseen photographs than I usually do after a couple of weeks traveling. I knew they were good. And there will never be proof to the contrary, so these pictures will always be the best I've ever taken.