Friends that break your heart*
October 20, 2021
I woke up early. It was foggy and dusky, with a fine drizzle. The view from my window made me want to go out for a morning walk along the river, watching the ships disappearing into an infinite shade of grey. The weather was unusually mild though. I like the different sorts of light on an early morning, half day, half night, soft lights from street lamps in the mist, their reflection on the wet tarmac, the brightly lit building sites. On the way home I came across the fun fair. There was no-one there yet, all quiet. I expected closed gates but there weren’t any. Seagulls, never far away in this neigbourhood, were circling and preying on trampled plastic bags and paper cups. A bit sad, one would think. But I don’t. So-called sad usually makes me feel irrationally happy. I’ve stopped trying to explain that to people, or even mention it, but it does. Also: it’s where I live.

*The new James Blake album that I’m trying to listen to.